Boozie...fat, drunk and happy

i so did not sign up for this

When we decided to have our wedding in Las Vegas, I was most excited about the fact that I wouldn't have to plan anything, which was shocking to most people.  I am, by nature, very type-A and enjoy planning things to the very last detail.  I could see myself being a professional wedding planner.  Or a professional party planner.  Or, as most people know, some sort of nutritionist.

What do things things have in common?  I'll tell you: they are all things that you do for OTHER people.  I do not enjoy planning my own parties but I love, love, love the opportunity to plan someone else's party, right down to the tiniest details.  If I could tell other people what to eat, I would be oh so happy, but I rarely take my own advice and in fact, just ate 3 pieces of candy after my carefully measured out Trader Joe-O's, banana and 1/2 cup of skim milk. 

So, by choosing Las Vegas, I thought, "yay, we can just pick a day and then let someone else do everything else and I can give minor guidance (I think I want to have a red bouquet and the bridesmaids can have white.  Do not ask me about the actual flowers, just go with the colors and don't ask me anything else) and all we have to do is show up."  But nooooooooooo.  I found out very recently that we have to find our own DJ and decorator/florist for the reception.  Oh, and they suggested that the DJ be booked already.  Oh, well, fantastic.

Then my head exploded and I had a minor freakout because OH MY GOD WHAT IF WE HAVE TO HAVE MY DRUNK BROTHER PLAY HIS IPOD HOOKED UP TO MY DAD'S DEWALT CONSTRUCTION RADIO AND THE DECORATIONS ARE STREAMERS AND BALLOONS.

I guess it wouldn't really matter, right?  I am marrying the man of my dreams and even if we have to have a white trash wedding at The Four Seasons, then who cares, right? 

Right?

just like the olden days

Friday night, I drank approximately eleventy hundred beers and neglected to eat food, though there was an offer and then later I wanted a corn dog in the worst way imaginable.

Anyway, during the time that I was sucking down the 900th beer, I was outside and somehow began talking to a 23-year old Joey Fatone look-alike who convinced me to use his money to buy him and myself a drink.

In my defense, I was indeed very drunk and he also told me that I looked like I was 28.  I am 29.  Apparently that won my heart.

So, I go and get Joey Fatone a Miller Lite and contemplate not giving him change or giving the bartender some ridiculous tip, but he thought I was ONE WHOLE YEAR younger than I actually am, so I decided to not be a jackass.

Upon my return, it dawns on me that this guy is on the patio and more or less forced me to go inside to use his money to buy him a beer.  "Why can't you go inside?" I asked.  He hestiated and told me he'd tell me later.

I made several mention of a fiance, who was eating take out Ethiopian at that point in time, to reassure Joey Fatone that there would be no "later".

Turns out that I was an unwilling accomplice in contributing to the delinquency of a delinquent.  He'd been "escorted out" of the bar.  For a fight?  I asked.  No, not quite. 

For peeing in the closet.

I more or less turned my back on him at this point, but there was some random insult about my engagement ring being the "untraditional" (which is really traditional, don't sell out to DeBeers!) and about me being a hippy.

I think I also told him to "go to hell and die."

what would the internet do?

First of all, Nick is back and has taken the bar exam. Before you ask, he won't know his results until October 9 and no, we still don't know where (or when) we are moving. It sucks because Nick can't really get a job in the meantime, since there's no rhyme or reason to when they tell him where we'll be living/working. Yeah, its not annoying AT ALL.

Anyway, I have a situation and would like to know what you guys think.

Someone who is friendly with my mother gave me something to borrow (without me asking) for my wedding that is very important to them. This item has a retail value of $150.00. I didn't ask to borrow the item, but upon seeing it thought, "sure, why not," but it is not a one-of-a-kind item and I could, in fact, purchase my own for $150.00 or less. Anyway, since I have been in receipt of said item, the owner and my mother have both made mention that I "better not lose it" and that I "ought to take good care of it" and it is driving me crazy. I am almost 30 years old, its not like I am careless with my own things, let alone things that are borrowed from a near stranger. Do you think I should politely return the item and purchase my own or just ignore their repeated pleas for me to not lose it?